For Many, Quarantine Has Strengthened Family Bonds

Many teens and younger students have appreciated the extra time they’ve had with parents and siblings this year. Photo: Taylor Scantlebury

By SAFINA RAFAELI, ADEEBA MAHMOOD, and TAYLOR SCANTLEBURY

Are you tired of being stuck at home with your loved ones? Or do you enjoy all the extra time and attention? For many teens, quarantine has left them feeling somewhere in the middle, but by and large, it seems that the remote year’s effects on family bonds have been positive.

Gabriella Correa, a junior at Fontbonne Hall Academy, is happy that she can now spend more time with her little brother. “My brother and I have started playing soccer together a lot more often since the both of us now have more free time,” she said, adding that the two have “definitely gotten closer.”

Valeria Rodas, a junior at Midwood, described her relationship with her family as more “close knit” and “less boring” than before.

“My family and I did not see much of each other before, but quarantine has forced me to spend a lot more time with them,” she said. “My sister and I were already close to begin with, but I'd say that quarantine brought us together even more. We are always finding some new art projects to start now. My family and I have also started experimenting with new recipes for dinner, and it has been really nice spending more time with them.”

Akulina Kashchei, a junior at Edward R. Murrow High School, said, “Both of my parents have been working from home, so I see them a lot more now. We bought a bunch of puzzles and have started putting them together to pass the time. It has honestly been pretty fun.”

Kashchei has also noticed that the energy in her house has been “less hectic” and “more relaxed” since quarantine started.

Astha Islam, a junior, feels that she got closer with her parents because of quarantine. She said, “Before quarantine I would just do whatever I could on my own. I am a very closed person, so it was hard for me to open up to them.” 

During quarantine, however, their relationship “grew to a beautiful bond” while dealing with mental and physical health issues, she said. This helped Islam open up to her parents, and they got closer that way. She’s grateful for that, she said.

Shima Elkhaloui ’22 reflected back on her experiences somewhat similarly. “Throughout [a normal] week, being at school for most of the day and then having homework after limited me from ever really getting chances to talk to my family,” she said. “During quarantine, there were many more family talks where we would just joke around, and even have more family dinners.” 

Elkhaloui has an older sister who also spends more time at home now. “Whenever I feel like I have something important to tell her, I can just yell it across the house instead of waiting for her to come home,” she said.

In general, students seem to have picked up new hobbies with their families or are just spending more time doing things they used to do less often. For others, things have stayed relatively the same. 

Kristina Oganesyan ‘22 said, “Quarantine hasn't really changed my family dynamic all too much. My parents still go to work every day, so I don't see them any more often than I did before. My brother and I have started to play a lot more video games, like Mario Kart, but besides that our daily lives have pretty much stayed the same.” Everyday life still feels “pretty normal,” she said.

Ilan Pesochinsky ‘22 said, “Both of my parents still work, so I do not see them any more than I did before. My sister works from home so we see more of each other now.”

“Sometimes it gets hard constantly being trapped at home with the same people,” Pesochinsky said. Although he loves his family, he misses leaving his house and going on trips with his friends; video chatting is “not the same” as seeing people in person, he said.

What about younger kids? How have they felt about all this family time?

Though the vast majority of teens the Argus has polled can’t wait to get back to in-person learning, many of the elementary-school age children we interviewed had a positive experience with online school. 

For younger kids who were able to get extra one-on-one attention from parents and siblings, that aspect of remote learning was something they enjoyed. 

Seven-year-old Cameron Scantlebury said, “I understand the work better in online school because my mommy gets to help me. In real school they don't really help me.”

Second grader Summer Motayne also feels that help from her mom makes the online school experience better than in-person school. Motayne said, “My mommy gets to help with my work sometimes, and I still get to see my friends virtually.”

According to Nora Fleming, writing for Edutopia, some students have adapted well to the shift because of the flexible schedules, spontaneous breaks, and a cozy home environment.

Madison William, age 7, agrees. “I like that I get to be in the comfort of my own home and not have to be in the hard school chairs, and I don't have to do my homework right after school,” William said.

Children are also able to live out all the sneaky fantasies that they can't in school. Motayne said, “I can sneak YouTube on my computer. I can also play Roblox.”

Staying home might make teens and adults feel lazy, but not fifth grader Knoah Lynch. “I am able to get more sleep and be more active in the day,” he said. “I love to sleep.”

For some children, the appeal runs deeper than being able to snoop around and sleep in. The school environment can be distracting and intimidating at times.

Chandler Lynch, age 11, said, “Online school is better because you have less distractions than you do in a classroom. Online, you can sit in one area and kind of focus on your schoolwork and what the teacher is saying instead of the loud noises people make in the classroom.”

“I feel more comfortable now because I can ask my teachers questions privately without feeling embarrassed by my classmates,” Lynch added.

Fleming says that remote learning also gives some students the opportunity to explore hobbies and interests that aren’t always supported by the public school system. Students have learned sign language and other skills. Cameron Scantlebury also enjoys some of the remote-unique activities such as “scavenger hunts and attendance questions that we don't get to do in regular school.”

Abid and Ahmer Ali have had enough of each other.

While extra family time, whether for academics or for fun, has been a silver lining of quarantine, at the same time, everyone needs their own personal space as well. As Dr. Christine Murray asks in “How Quarantine Has Affected Our Family Dynamics” for UNC Greensboro, “Just how much family togetherness is too much family togetherness?” Dr. Murray writes that “many families right now are experiencing an emotional rollercoaster with their relationships.”

“One of the major tips in any relationship is to spend time together but to also have time apart,“ Dr. Murray writes. 

Ahmer Ali ‘21 feels that he and his brother Abid, two of three triplets, were close before quarantine, but they couldn’t spend too much time together “due to different social crowds and extra activities.” He said, “Abid had soccer tryouts and training while I was focusing on clubs, volunteering, and social media.”

When asked how close the two are, Abid said it depends on the day. “I would say overall an eight,” he said. “On bad days a two, and on good days a nine, but there are more good days than bad.” 

However, their relationship came under strain during quarantine, he said. “At first it was nice spending time with family and my siblings, but over time, I grew tired of seeing their faces every day,” he said. “Sometimes we would like to have space and time to ourselves, but being forced to stay inside together made us go crazy.”

In essence, while we found no universal pattern to how family dynamics reacted to quarantine, it seems that the positives outweighed the negatives. Many families got closer, some relationships stayed the same, and a few relationships got a bit more difficult to handle. But for the most part, being stuck at home for a year has been good for family bonds, even if most of us are now ready for a return to normal.